RELATIONSHIP

"RELATIONSHIP" 

Every relationship has its cycle.

It starts with a meeting.

You meet someone, and then you want to meet that person more.

Later, one day, you realize that you are in love with that person.

You count that person in everything and start making plans for the future.

You anticipate their calls, want to hear their voice and want to feel their touch.

You start liking their idiosyncrasies and quirks. Falling in love with someone is the best thing that happens to you and one of the best feelings in the world.

You just go with the flow of emotions. You just follow wherever it takes you. That is why we say, ‘we fall in love.’ In the journey of love, you reach a point where you think that the person is the right one for you.

When you are in love, you feel you are being swept off your feet. Imagine the expression. You are just there—standing, doing nothing and then someday, SOMETHING happens to you. Falling in love with someone is an impulsive and spontaneous feeling.

However, what is more, important is what happens after that. You never think about it. But, after a few months, or years, of being together, the ecstasy and excitement of love fade.

That is quite natural and happens in EVERY relationship.

Everything happens very slowly, but this time, you are on the other side. Gradually, those phone calls, which you used to wait for eagerly, become a bother or duty to answer. Touch, which used to make you shiver, now becomes irritable. It does not excite you as it did earlier. Moreover, the idiosyncrasies and quirks, which you always appreciated and accepted in all forms, start grating and bothering you so much that it feels like a knife slicing through your head. When you start noticing the changes in your relationship—how it was initially and how it is now—you find a big and stagy difference. You start seeing the relationship as a ‘burden’ that you keep dragging.Your partner and you start asking yourselves, ‘Am I the the right person, to be loved?’ On the other hand, most importantly, a question flicks into your mind, ‘Am I with the right person?’ We are all humans and share a similar nature. You may wish or desire to feel the same love you had with someone else. That is the time when most breakups happen. Family consent and caste difference just become excuses to break away from that relationship. Most of the time, people say that they are not happy— they blame their partners and look for happiness in others—and end up having extramarital affairs. Infidelity is very common in relationships these days. A few people may end up finding someone better outside their relationship but the truth and the reality of this dilemma lie within the relationship, NOT outside. There is no rule that you cannot fall in love with someone else, that is also natural. You feel the same or even better than your previous relationship. But this is temporary. Years later, you will find yourself in a similar situation and start feeling miserable once again. You will realize it was all an illusion, but by then it would be too late, and you may have already ruined too many things. So instead of finding the answer to, ‘Am I with the right person?’, you should try to understand that a successful and lifelong relationship is not about finding the right person, but about learning to love the person you have already found. That is not easy, by the way. Successful relationships are not really spontaneous and impulsive experiences. You have to put effort, work on it each day. They are just like the giant trees with deep roots, as much time and work go into growing them. They aren’t like the small plants, weak and timid. A sustaining love takes time, effort and energy. You should not see it as a liability or an asset, but you 10should know what you have to do to make it work and where you have to take this relationship. MAKE NO MISTAKES ABOUT IT. Loving someone is not tough, but the real challenge is to be with that person forever, with happiness and faith. That is important. Love is neither an illusion nor a mystery. It is just like the few basics of your favourite subject. If you know how to apply them, you start getting the result—the expected positive results that you wish for. Therefore, love is a decision, not just a feeling. Maybe God determines who walks into our life. However, it is up to us to decide who we let walk away, who we let stay.